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Earth. Even the word sounded strange to me now... unfamiliar. How long had I been gone? How long had I been back? Did it matter? I tried to find the rhythm of the world where I used to live. I followed the current. I was silent, attentive, I made a conscious effort to smile, nod, stand, and perform the millions of gestures that constitute life on earth. I studied these gestures until they became reflexes again. But I was haunted by the idea that I remembered her wrong, and somehow I was wrong about everything.


I am back. Back to normal? What is normal? Is Norway the norm? I've been back for two days now. I've walked around town like a stranger. A tourist. This used to be my town, my home, but now I don't fit in anymore. I turn around every time I hear someone speaking Norwegian (makes one a bit dizzy sometimes...). I am still a bit perplexed about the number of white people in the streets, and the fact that I do not know who they are. I am dazed. Confused. Lost.

People walking past at Central Station. It's like watching TV with the sound switched off, or like watching a film on fast forward. Everything is blurred. The future. The past the present.

I am a tourist in my home town, and yet Africa feels like something that belongs to the distant past. It is hard to believe I left Mbale less than a week ago. Will I ever be the same? Will I ever fit in? Do I need to?

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